Stuff guys gotta stop sweating

I'm mostly grateful for being male. I can carry heavy stuff, I run the world, and society doesn't place a lot of value on my physical appearance. Along with these 'blessings' there come several curses to the male race that I feel needs apology: We're sore losers, we're relatively emotionally unavailable, and we're kinda dumb. These things transform into greater character flaws when it comes to relationships and rather than fix them we tend to whine about them or because of them. I believe that men are less relationship literate because we're conditioned from a young age that emotions have little place in our lives. So when our emotions are triggered, we can't control them or manage them intelligently. Here are some priority items with regard to said character flaws.

1. LISTEN!!

This is especially noticable when it comes to women. We're not bad listeners, we're just nervous. We don't have faith in our wit, our intelligence, or our personality and will often be caught thinking about other things while you're talking so we have something interesting to say and prevent an awkward moment. Men can fix this if they just listen. If you got nothing to say then don't say anything, but at least vocally affirm what she's saying. That's the minimum requirement. However, if she continues to talk and you have nothing more to say than "mm-hmm" or "cool" then either your girl is mentally and emotionally out of your league, or you are pathetically inept and it's time to watch some t.v. or read some books.

2. When she's talking to other guys...

I sat on a dating panel a while back and I was silently laughing the entire time as I listened to these men talk about and validate each other on the finer points of dating. One of them was the point that women shouldn't talk to other guys when we're with them. WHY THE HECK NOT?! Well, I'll tell you. Men are insecure attention whores. The young man that was talking at the time didn't say these words exactly, but he may as well have. Your attention to us validates us and builds our confidence. Society now considers it somewhat rude for a girl to talk to a guy while spending time with a different guy because IT 'MAKES' MEN FEEL INSECURE! God forbid there's a man that's better looking or more interesting than we are. Now we've somehow restricted a woman's freedom to be who she is because it hurts our feelings. Shenanigans! Not to say that men don't appreciate it when you're politely curt with other men, but this really shouldn't be a concern.

3. When she's dating other guys...

You shouldn't care! Too many men fall in the habit of treating women poorly when they discover that a girl is exploring her options. You should be expecting this from every girl! If she's attractive enough for you to ask out, you must assume that there are like-minded who'll act similarly. Man up and continue to make your presence known. You're not out of the game yet! All you're doing is validating her decision to date around if you drop out of the race before her vote is cast.

4. When she's colder or moodier than usual...

Give her time and be gentle. Getting mad at her or prodding is not likely the best thing to do. Having grown up with 4 sisters and most of my friends being women, I know that a lot of times, women are moody or cold for no particular reason. Everybody is this way, but women more often so. Be aware of the visit from aunt rose. Most women I spend time with cycle regularly and I try to mark it so I can conduct myself accordingly. If I'm close enough to a girl, I may just ask what week she normally cycles. If a girl doesn't want to talk or seems put-offish just try sitting next to her and putting an arm around her. She normally won't fight this and you are communicating volumes without saying a word.

5. If she beats you at a game...

Curl up in a ball and cry. Men are not graceful losers. In the back of every man's mind is the assumption that we're the superior sex. Our genitalia give us greater lung capacity, denser muscle tissue, and brains 3 times the size of women's. It's science. For real though, if you take a loss to any contest with a woman less than gracefully, you are communicating that assumption and she will think less of you. Be a good sport and cry your eyes out when she's gone.